Breaking Free
by Foxmur
Summary: Feeling the height of the world reach him, Kowalski has decided that he's going to finally escape it all by becoming a lemur. Mainly KoJu. Rated for explicit reasons. In the works.


"Breaking Free"

~A Penguins of Madagascar story

Chapter One: Lockpicking

Kowalski's Person of View

"And don't you screw up again Kowalski! Your invention almost got the team captured, this very base nearly compromised, and nearly all of Manhattan destroyed! Blowhole can't get his flippers on this machinery! He has too many sources! If it's well enough to get out of control on its own, think if it was in the wrong flippers! What do you think you're doing? NO! Don't even think about making more inventions!"

I slam my door she and bolt each and every lock to make sure Skipper can't get in here and yell at me even more. I slump down to the ground and cover my eyes with my flippers as tears start to slither out of my them.

How did all of that happen? How could a simple device meant to assist us in battle turn against us? Why, in fact does each of my inventions course out into a tragic end?

Skipper's extremely pissed. He's screamed at me enough to put me into hiding again. Sometimes, I don't ten know what else to do except to invent. I haven't done much else in my life.

Of course if I were to get specific, yes, I have, but still, I remember back in Antarctica with Skipper; before Private and Rico were on the team, and when we had Manfredi and Johnson.

Or, Johnson and Manfredi, grammatically put. I remember when we were such a fantastic team. We had so much ease doing so much and we were the best of the best. The best of friends, most importantly. We'd never change if they hadn't faded from battle.

Once they disappeared, unfortunately, Skipper and I completely changed. He became a lot more hardened, violent, loud, demanding and egotistical. He's calmed down since the utter change, of course, but it's still very noticeable, and I don't like it.

I don't know why I come to my lab to ease up. I'm the smartest penguin in the world, how can I possibly get sad? Better question, how can my inventions backfire so terribly if I'm so smart?

It's absolutely strange. My lab is where Skipper expects me to be working, but I lock myself in here for several reasons other than to experiment. I'm someone who really needs their alone time.

I foten isolate myself from them and hide her in my..cozy..little home..my dark, cold, somewhere scary and lonely little home. I don't necessarily like to hide here, but where else am I to go? I'm needed here, right?

In my perspective, no. Sure, I make some sort of difference in battle and such, but what's so much battle for, anyways? Where is the truce between enemies after so many victories and losses? There's too many to count. Even who I consider out friend are an enemy. Hell, we're our own enemy!

Supposedly we have a battle to permanently be on. With the entire fucking world. I'm not very agreeing to it. It was a blast when we were working alongside out militia, sort of, but once we were "deployed" and set up recon here in the United States, Skipper suddenly became the legitimate leader of the militia.

Until Private and Rico came, it was us. Just us. Myself and the "new leader" of the Antarctic Penguin Militia. He was okay at the start, but he was getting over his head, and he was massively paranoid of, well, who know what.

Of course, I know that came from Denmark, and actually having seen Hans in person now, I believe it. Id' seen pictures and I'm the only one, from my knowledge, who Skipper's told what happened. It's not even much of a story. I was semi-glad to know, but in all honesty it doesn't give him an excuse.

This his paranoia of Hoboken, needles, every incoming new resident to our zoo, Dr. Blowhole, and every other known thing of his, is just ridiculous. He only fears Hoboken because of a brief week there before we came here.

Finding Rico with his face how it was nearly destroyed his mind. It's mainly why needles scare him, too. That's where we found Rico as well. Hoboken. We freed him and figured out how to get us transferred, and we came here to Manhattan.

Skipper absolutely loved life when the other land mammals were here. The "king of New York," Alex the lion and his friends were minor Julien's, I guess could be said.

He wanted to go back home after figuring things out here in this world, and upon arrival he wanted to come back here to Manhattan. Not because it was "boring" there, no. He wanted back position as leader of the penguins.

I hadn't even realized I'm saying so much. I'd probably fill up a notebook cover to cover without taking a break. My head may be full of knowledge, but I go over the past pretty often and can become an extremely unhappy person.

For Private's sake, I keep it to myself, but it's not healthy. However, if I went out complaining how I feel, I'd NEVER hear the end of it from Skipper. Why I'm only complaining of him, I have no clue.

There's much of Rico to annoy me, and Private has his times as well. When a scientist needs his time of peace and focus, I'm not that scientist. There's always some little thing that gets in my way to prevent me from working.

But that's where it comes down to where I just don't want to work right now. I can't take the stress, the draining emotions, the horrible sleeps at night, nearly the same thing every single day.

I don't want to be here anymore. I'm only here because after losing my mom and pop, the militia was the only available option for me, besides dying. I'll say I enjoyed having become one of the first penguins to travel the world, but not every penguin can do the war forever. Especially when there's nothing that we're actually fighting.

I really just want to escape. It's like a child wanting to run away from home, but too afraid of the following events. I've wanted to kill myself. I'm sure it wouldn't be good, though. I couldn't plant that memory in Mort or Private's minds. I may be a mad scientist, but I'm no villain.

I wipe my tears and waddle over to the scope viewing out to the zoo. Sometimes just seeing the others happy makes me believe I could one day be just like them, but be me, too.

The occasional viewing, Bada and Bing eating bananas and riding their tire, Mason and Phil playing a game of chess, Marlene playing with a beach ball, and my favorite sight, the lemurs having a nice and peaceful relation day in the sun.

There is the exceptional viewing of Julien telling Maurice to do something for him, or maybe even Julien kicking Mort off his feet. Sometimes, I feel like Mort, except for the hands department.

With flippers, it's like you have one long finger. you can grab, but not as well as it seems with a hand and thumb. Watching how they can do many things us penguins cannot makes me dislike my life much more.

I'm a penguin. Sure, lots of kids across the world love penguins, but that doesn't help. I remember docking in Madagascar. Seeing all o those lemurs and how happy they were.

Sure, they had to worry about the fossa every so often, but under Julien's leadership, they had so much fun and you and respect and love for one another.

Because back home in Antarctica was so cold and miserable and harsh and lonely, it's still so beautiful and magnificent to me at this date. I wanted to be one of them. I WANT to be one of them.

I feel bad for them. They're stuck here and can't go home. I know Maurice had a very fun life being Julien's right hand man before, and I'm assuming Mort had received positive attention from someone.

I look at Julien and just wonder. He's not a bad guy, and he's definitely no evil mastermind. I laugh at the thought of Julien doing anything sinister.

Of course, he isn't an idiot. He's shown us smarts. He may be no evil mastermind, be he definitely is a great spy. He appeared as a fantastic leader in Madagascar, too.

Sometimes I question who or what Julien is. Ring-Tailed lemur, obviously. But I wonder about the inside. I could be wondering about anyone else in the zoo, but Julien has this personality that really captures my attention.

In fact, just seeing how excitable and happy he can be makes me jealous. To the point where I go in these long discussions with myself. I already know I'm an abnormal penguin, so I could care less if I seem even more crazy because of it.

It seems like such a fun and peaceful habitat. The tribal music back at home was, of some sort, fun and able to dance along to, but looking and listening to Julien's music and dancing, again, makes me wish I could be jut like him.

I'd never be able to do that with these legs, flippers, hell, my entire penguin body. ever. I used to want to be an actual bird, like, the ones that CAN fly. I look at myself and my brethren and ask, "Who screwed us up?"

Though, I can't control that. I am what I am. A fat, slow, waddling, fish eating penguin. This is where I'll ponder of how I could change that. With what would be possible to just jump out of this useless body and design myself a whole new one.

A body I could have just for my liking. But, I don't care for being a bird any longer. I've come to the point where I just don't want to be this way at all.

It's like each time I look at the lemurs; Julien, I want-no, NEED to be like that. Like him. I f I said this to anyone else they'd think I have some attraction to Julien.

Who knows, I personally don't care if it's desire to look like him or be with him. All that I know is that I'm sick and tired of being like this with this life. I can't take it anymore.

Fuck, I'm crying again. I told myself that if I ended up here crying and feeling suicidal and craving to be a lemur one more time, I'd use the device I've secretly been building for the last four months.

I've moved it a few times just out of fear of it failing, but this time I have to do it. I can't stand being here any more. Please, just let it work..

"Kowalski! Open up the too! Rico, et me dynamite, he needs to stop inventing."

Fuck! I waddle as quickly as I can to the back of my lab to my device. I grab it rapidly and hold it to my head and sob in fear. No one would expect me to overreact this way but not every book is like the cover.

I listen as a dynamite stick is set and gulp in fear. If I'm to take the chance to be what I want to be, I've got to do it now!

A loud bang goes off but my door keeping me safe still stands. I hear Skipper sigh."Alright Rico, it's not budging. Just grab the keep to go the baby way in."

I look at my device and observe it. It's shaped like a gun, it's see-through with green fluid flowing around inside, my flipper on the trigger as best as it can be..

If they come in here, they'll think I made a weapon to kill myself. Dammit, just give me a break. I quickly grab a pen and write on a notepad.

"I'm sorry guys but it has to be done. I'm not dead but I just need to get away for the sake of our team. I'll come back when things, and I, are back in order. -Kowalski."

It's better than nothing. I stick it up on the wall next to me and I listen as the key gets put in the door and start to turn. "It'll be alright Kowalski, just let this be simple."

No. Not anymore. I'm not letting this happen again. I have to escape. I can't be stuck here forever. I need a break. A vacation; anything. I look at the device and close my eyes.

I slowly press into the trigger and feel the slime lodge into my body and skull and I fall to the ground unconscious from the pheromones and only able to speak to myself.

I'm not going to die, though. it just ives off the idea that I'm gone to them. I hope that the note I just wrote gives relief to them. I don't want them thinking I killed myself.

My body is simply going to decay before they can even get inside. It'll melt into the ground and start to construct my new body I crave so deeply. I literally can't imagine what my life is without being it. I mean, I just want to have time to relax and escape from here.

I'm tired of inventing. I want to actually be someone instead of a scientist stuck in a place he can't even enjoy. I'll come back but I just need to pull a disguise for now.

Just keep cool, Kowalski. Monster trucks. It's a good things I can still devise a plan. Though, I'm really not sure what the lemurs will think of me.

Am I really os certain I want to be this? I'd assume I am, since I can stare at any other animal and choose to be a lemur overall.

I can just feel it. Good and bad things. I'm worried, but I'm willing to face what comes. I have to at least try, right? Does a scientist usually have a long debate like this with himself? I should just rest and shut up. That'll probably make waking up come sooner.

~Fin..


End file.
